202 Duke Ellington Boulevard,

Manhattan, NY 10025

It’s in a great area.

Oh my Lord. Where to begin? The woman who own this building, Isadora Silverman, mostly doesn’t deal with the tenants in her many buildings, though she certainly signs the backs of rent checks quickly enough. Her awful husband, Jesse Hecht, is a property manager from hell. (I don’t call him a landlord from hell since his wife owns everything.) His default mode is simply to threaten tenants whenever they call for any purpose. Have bedbugs? That’s your fault; you brought them in from somewhere. Need a hole in your ceiling fixed? You should have asked your upstairs neighbor to shut the water off before the hole formed. Is the air conditioner from two floors above you in a different apartment dripping on to the street below? That’s your fault, too, and they’ll threaten to sue you to force you to pay to power wash the building’s facade. The secret to dealing with Jesse Hecht is just not to agree to anything he says. He never follows through, since all the things he threatens to do are illegal. And the super in this building, who no doubt is ridden terribly and abused constantly, is lazy and worthless, so expect to have problems in your apartment left untended for months on end. When he does decide to fix things, his work is atrocious. Once he patched a hole in my ceiling with wire mesh. So the hole was still open, but at least there was some mesh over it. He finally plastered it over after I yelled at him on the phone.

Go fuck yourself. Really good and really hard.